In Praise of Difficult Women: Life Lessons from 29 Heroines Who Dared to Break the Rules by Karen Karbo

On a recent visit to Los Angeles, I was fortunate to visit Forest Lawn Cemetery in Glendale.  I admit, I was wondering how much I would like a museum on the grounds of one of largest cemeteries in the country.  However, I was game for some adventure, so away I went!

The drive to the museum was one I will never forget.  The lawn was awash with poinsettias.  It was utterly both sad and beautiful.  Forest Lawn is set up to be more of a park than a cemetery, so people relax and picnic on the grounds, and there is the sound of laughter in the air.  It was on these grounds that I found a very special museum.

The Forest Lawn Museum was hosting a special exhibit that was called Women of Vision. The works of eleven photojournalists from National Geographic were highlighted within this exhibit.  I was awed by the beauty, yet sensitive nature of the photos.  Some of these women spent four years living side by side with people from other cultures to learn about their thoughts, hopes, and fears.  But I digress...

On the way out of the exhibit, I perused the gift shop, and two life-changing things happened.  The first was as I was viewing a painting called Song of Angels, 1881 by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. Within that painting, I saw my mother, and she was an angel.  I sucked in my breath, and it was all I could do not to break into sobs. One of the angels depicted within that painting looks just like a younger version of my mother.  I took a picture of the banner advertising the exhibit, but it isn't the same as viewing the painting.  The second extraordinary thing that happened was finding the book In Praise of Difficult Women on the shelves of the gift shop.

I didn't buy the book on the spot, but I did take a picture of the cover so I could check with my local library to see if the book was available.  Inside the pages of the book are the abbreviated biographies of twenty-nine difficult women - twenty-nine extraordinary, sassy, mouthy, difficult women.

Some of these women's stories were heartbreaking, devastating, and life-altering, but each story speaks of strength, tenacity, and well, being difficult.  From Frida Kahlo, who at the age of eighteen suffered a horrific street car accident, to Carrie Fisher, who suffered a lifetime of mental illness, these brief glimpses into the lives of twenty-nine women push me to become...well, more difficult. 

"These difficult women give us permission to occupy space in our worlds, to say what we think, and to stand our ground.  They give us permission to be ambitious, passionate, curmudgeonly, outspoken, persistent, sassy, and angry.  They tell us by their words and deeds, that it's all right to occupy our humanity."

I have been told many times that I am a "difficult" woman.  I don't always follow the "rules" by being a submissive female.  I once walked away from a job because the owner thought women only should clean and mop, not to be involved in the business aspect.  I had a department head once tell a member of my department that I "asked too many questions."  As a chair of a church committee, I once had a high ranking state church official tell me that meetings would on his schedule, not on my committee's schedule.  (For the record, the meetings were on my committee's schedule, and being called "Little Missy Chair" was reported to his superiors.)

Thanks to my father, being difficult is in my blood.  I will continue to be difficult, and I hope you will be difficult along with me. Stand for what you believe.  Don't let anyone tell you that you cannot follow your dreams, and live the life you were meant to live.